A few weeks ago, I was having a rough day. I felt like I was in that “pit” I have written about before. I don’t want to ever minimize and/or run away from the days of struggle or also minimize the pains and struggles in others. Too often we look at others and their circumstances and say to ourselves, “What do they have to worry about... or, my gosh, they should just be thankful.” However, we NEVER know the circumstances, both current and past. Much of what we may see as success is really just a mask to cover pain. This is in no way all cases, but my point is we never know, so therefore should never assume we do.
So, what do I mean about silence can be the loudest? Well, if we truly stop, slow down, listen, just sit and not run to the busyness of life to drown out the “noisiness” in our soul, that sitting and slowing down can sometimes produce the loudest cries in our soul. I know for me it was very hard to be still and still is. It was, and still is, at times very hard to reflect. It is very hard to not do and listen to whatever might need to be heard. It is as if the slowing down and the silence would give way for the noises of what may not want to be heard. It sometimes seems as though the loudest voices were that of shame or the shouts of past hurts. Doubt and fear would speak up loudly as well. The combination of these, in the “silence” or slowing down, is not pleasant. It is natural for us to want to avoid the discomfort of the "noise."
What should we do then? I am in no way an expert, but I do know that if we have a hard time in the silence because the voices of shame, past hurts, doubt, and fear sometimes scream the loudest, I don’t feel running to the busyness of life and more noise is the best answer. I feel we need to work towards being okay in the silence and instead of hearing the shouts, we instead hear the whisper of truth from our Heavenly Father and we “... come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16). It is then that the silence can become okay, and sometimes okay is enough until the silence can become peaceful. One step and one day at a time...
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