So I've been studying a little on vulnerability. Please note that I am not an expert by any means and just trying to explore things that I need to work on and love to share with you my thoughts from time to time.
It is interesting that early in our life, or as we progress through it, we put on this “heavy armor” to protect ourselves from the experience of hurts, wounds, and trauma. That armor may have served its purpose at a certain time but sooner or later it actually hurts and inhibits us from connecting as we could with others and God. We “armor up” and do not risk being vulnerable.
Different ways that “armor” may show up in our life are through addictions and/or distractions that remove us from feeling the current or past pains and dealing with them as they should be dealt with. We avoid being vulnerable and move away from tough, but loving, conversations with those important to us. However, when we “numb out” past or current pains, or avoid courageous conversations, we also inhibit or numb out the possibility for real current joys or gratitude that could be experienced. We also miss out connecting in our relationships and remove ourselves from experiencing the closeness and love that we may otherwise be able to provide and receive. It is a form of self-protection in which we try and protect ourselves but at the same time only end up hurting ourselves more and inhibiting our ability to love and be loved.
Vulnerability is and can be scary for many. It is for me. It takes courage to be vulnerable along with trust. Not necessarily a trust in another but a trust in God’s love and protection and a trust in knowing that often vulnerability is the best way to progress towards an ultimate joy and true healing. In this courageous surrender we can then move through our days much less “weighted down” by the armor that once protected and instead experience a lightness that allows us to fully experience God’s love and show that love towards others.
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